And what were thou, and earth, and stars, and sea, if to the human mind's imaginings Silence and solitude were vacancy?

I posted this as my Status yesterday
and I finished it with the line "I shouldn't
but I AM going to smoke a stogee. =) Hahaha how melodramatic! =P,"
But believe you me, it was not about a cigarette.

"I shouldn't but I am,
because all I do is fool myself
into believing I can be better than what I am.
It is all a dream,
a wild fantasy
that will never change.
I am stuck here trying to let myself go
and I can't
because I am afraid.
Of what, I do not know.
I fool myself into the impression
that I am using you
when in reality
you use me."

But nobody knows that I really truly meant it.

I also wrote a small poem, after I saw the German movie
"Das Experiment" (which is now an American movie with Christian Bale
named "The Experiment") and after finding out that
it was based on an actual experiment named
"The Standford Prison Experiment" and after
I found out about "The Milgram Experiment."

"The Dark that lurks in human soul,

Its power waits to take its toll.

At night my soul in terror cold it folds,

To know that of my soul it took a hold."

It has no name and I believe it true.

Why is it that.....

Every time I want to talk to someone and vent my feelings, there is no one there. If I call a friend to talk, they end up talking about themselves and only themselves. I mean, I do not blame them completely because they are so used to hearing me answer "Nothing really, you know me, I have no life." when they ask "So what's up with you?" I do have a life, I do have feelings, and I have thoughts too. I am aware that a lot of the times when I indulge in a bitchfest I usually seem to be sharing a lot. In reality I am not. I really am not. I share so little of myself nowadays, that I am not really sure what I feel anymore. Obviously I can't share what I feel here either...it's the fucking world wide web. I just thought I should write this for no one to read.

-Clara

o_0

It's been quite some time....
I wish I had something really meaningful to write (which kind of defeats the purpose of writing at all). I've read other people's blog and they are just recitations of their day to day grievances. I personally think that my daily annoyances are not meaningful enough to write about in a blog.
However, I will write about other meaningless shit. =)
Anywhoooooooo....
Summer came and went. Did I do anything productive??
Oh yes I did. I learned how to cook!!! =D Although it is futile since I don't like eating the things that I cook and only my sister and niece eat my junk, so there's no one to really judge my food. However, whenever I make lasagna, EVERYONE loves it. ^_^

Since summer came and went, school started as well. Which means I got to see the Cohort and that's always pretty exciting. So far nothing extremely significant has happened. As for my classes, they are all quite chill, except for the Online PAS class which is a waste of my time since 1)It's useless and 2) I'm learning jackshit from it. Although its uselessness could be argued since I do NEED the class to graduate...who cares.
I do have an ultimate favorite class and that is my Romanticism class. No one seems to be enjoying it as much as I am. =( that is okay, I suppose British Literature is not everyone's cup of tea.
I like the fact that a lot of the times navego con bandera de pendeja. =) (I know kind of random comment)

Let see....cute guys this semester....yes....Do I talk to them...of course not! HAhahaha. I must admit that I haven't seen that thrasher dude from my CHS classes at all. Lumberjack and Precious graduated (I think) so I won't see them at all.
I know it seems kind of pathetic that I talk about cute guys and I don't talk to them personally, but sincerely they are just cute guys I look at when class gets boring, they are there for visual entertainment only. I really don't think I want to be near anyone at the moment. =)
Alright, I meant to write more but sincerely as my age increases my attention span decreases, so I will stop here. Besides, I have homework to get done.