Friday, March 21, 2008  | Nothing much....
Current mood:  drained Alright.... I have no idea why I am writing....One thing is for sure, my attention span seems to be diminishing at an incredible rate as I grow older.....I tend to forget things almost instataneously and that scares the shit out of me. Could it be the excessive amounts of coffee I drink to keep myself awake...the two maybe three cigarettees I smoke a day....hell sometimes I do not smoke at all.... What could possibly be causing this? Is it that I am just tired? I forget dates, events, work and things.... I feel out of control and yet.... for some unknown reason, I feel that am slowly coming back to my old self again.... I simply can’t find any explnations for these quetions.... Then again the mere influence of the novel I am currently reading is might be sending me astray in a deep mood of rantingness..... Or maybe I am back to sqaure one, where the only thing that I know is that I in fact do not know anything at all.... I am just making myself dizzy in my own whirlwind of uncertain wonders...... For one thing....all I want to do is sleep....The last time I felt like this is when my world was falling out of order two years ago...and that is because I am the kind of person that sleeps through my problems....hey! what can I say. A good nap always allows you to wake up with a different set in mind =) Back to the point...I find my job tedious since I am surrounded by dogs (not all of them of course, but most), I hate my high school, the love of school has been annihiliated... which is in fact a matter that has been nagging at me for some time.... For some time (actually since the beginning of the year and before that as well) I have been complaining that I no longer like my history class....Well for those of you who actually do bother to give this blog a glance...I will now give you the reason as to why I no longer enjoy her class....There are to main reasons to this" I belive it all began sometime in the middle of the last school year.... I began to realize that the teacher really did not like me anymore....In the beginning I just believed it was my inability to reconnect with society since my exile from it....(I have TERRIBLE social skills by the way) but then I paid close attention and Jones has preferences. Now I pray tell, do not get me wrong, all teachers have this. I believe it natural....but sincerely I belive the teacher goes too far and too obvious...Alas,the teacher is a magnificent teacher, in fact she is one of a kind and for this I take my hat off for her...this however does not change the fact of the matter at hand. The second reason (and may I point out that this reason alone had made some of my other classes quite miserable as well). In order to be able to explain this reason I must make a confession. In school everyone cheats...from the most vile student to the most "nerdy" one (well there are exceptions). So back then when things were nice a rosie...I believed that we cheated in order to help each other -with that said- things have changed...it pained me in the beginning and I realized it when I saw that I was not a part of it and therefore...did not get helped...and I do not mean help in the cheating fashion..but simply healped...the can-you-explain-this-to-me type of help... The cheating sessions are not done as a method of helping one another....but as avery crude exchange or trade -take is as you may it sounds horrible to me either way- of fucking favors! Very much like in politics....facades included. The saddest part is that even in this small community you can clearly see the Darwinism of it all..the survival of the fittest....You can clearly see who are the submissive and the dominat...the ones that kiss ass to get a favor and those who kiss ass becuase they owe a fucking favor...just like a friend of mine of old said once whe i reproched of her attitude of subordinance...."But he gives me the answers [paraphrased]" All of that shit for a fucking grade...which comes to this... I am inded very fucking proud of the fact that I am not an A-straight student...at least I am not a hypocrite... I am not going to lie....I cheated before....everyone does it at some point...but i shared my answers to help others and received help becuase I needed help and because I believed (in my own fucking pregnant mind) that they cared.... I’m too nice...I need to start being more of a bitch and less of a friend... which is why I cannot wait to get into college...something tells me that the change of panorama will help me feel better....hopefully... I am not going to lie to you...not every one I know is like that there are some that arent...but things have changed and I just can’t convinve myself that a single gesture is in fact sincere....which is why I just faded away....and in reality am not significant part of anyone at shcool....I knew it all along...i am the least reamembered and the most easily forgotten and for this I am glad... but leaving that behind... I FINALLY BOUGHT A NEW PSP!!!! YAY!!! anywho....its the white one with Darth Vader in the back =D moreover I am also planning to get a haircut that will most likely look hideous on me....I’ve been wanting it for quite sometime and to be rather honest I a slowly but surely convincing myself out of it since....bangs are simply burned out ((>_<))....and I fucking detest when shit burns out because that is when it tunrs into a trend...and I am not too keen of trends to be rather frank...well thatit for the moment...I am tired and sleepy and I still need to take a bath..... toodles... Clara  | Currently listening :
Mexican Spaghetti Western
By Chingon
Release date: 10 April, 2007  | 2:19 AM | |
| | Tuesday, March 18, 2008 | Punk
Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Music Well for those of you who know me.... (and those who atually bother to read this), know that I am not much of a fanatic of punk. Why? Becuase most of the time they have no idea of what the fuck they are playing. I will admit that I do enjoy some of the first wave of punk. The Ramones and Sex Pistols and Blondie (for those of you who do consider Blondie punk, although ther has been some debate about this). Nevertheless, lately I have found myself listening to punk. A lot of the punk that I have been listening to is still from the first wave/ hardcore, bands like Black Flag and Flipper. Why is this? Simple...Some months ago I was watching a documentary called American Hardcore which is based on...hardcore punk.... Once again for those of you who know me (which in fact are not all that many people) also know that my main passion used to be Music Journalism and therefore wanted a Journalism degree (those plans have since then changed) so anything that is culturally motivated by music is appealing to me...you have the move from the sixities and the seventies (Focus of the Vietnam war please) that later moved unto first wave punk, hardcore, second wave, post punk yaki yada yada yada et cetera...metal, grunge, blah blah blah so on and so forth..... Point of the fucken matter is that i was then rather explicitly exposed to punk....I am still not entirely embracing it...I still do not get what people see in Crass and The Addicts....although I have now included, Black Flag, Flipper, The Misfits and this not so old punk band Mankind? ( I give all the credit to Jackie who unknowingly introduced me to them through her myspace profile). I guess one day back in elementary school when I heard the Sex Pistols for the first time and liked it I was then after confronted to some bad punk music and therefore developed this misconception of it for the past what...ten years?....damn it has been a pretty long time of judging a whole genre.... Nonetheless, I will keep on exploring this genre alone...I am highly intrigued...as to a lighter tone....It is St. Patrick’s Day!!! (Well at least it was some hours ago) I listened to Dropkick Murphys all day long also some Flogging Molly (courtesy of Mike unkowingly of course...I doubt he will ever get the credit for this either) and this band I discovered called Korpiklaani! they kick ass ! =D Anywho..back to the point.... For those of you who know me....this is big...a complete change.... For those of you who do not.....do not even judge me as a fucking clone....you know why...because although I focus most of my energy in listening the genre of rock as a whole (this means metal, punk, grunge, new wave..you know the rest...) I listen to what I listen to because I like it, not to fit into some type of fucken hype of dumbasses who are punk or metalheads or emos....I listen to good music....as much as a can enjoy some Lamb of God (whom I Adore!) I can always enjoy some Smiths, Daft Punk or some fucken Bach, Beethove, or Mozart.... and therefore....you might be more of a clone than I will ever be! =P No offense... I am not a hype, I am not a social group or a fucking label...for those of you who do not Know me...I am simply Clara....get that fucking shit through your brainless head.... Love you all TOOODLES!! -Claire 1:45 AM | |
| | Tuesday, February 05, 2008 | Graduation
Current mood:  aggravated To begin with....If I do walk the stage is because my family really wants to see me walk that stage (or may I say the quad, since we area graduating in our quad are in school because the school does not have a big enough budget to get an actual stage.....)
But in reality I might just not graduate and all because of one class I did not agree with yet understood the subject well enough. Just that one class...that is it....and now that I pay rent...quitting is not much of an option....I'm stuck and sometimes my family does not really help much but instead makes things worst....
Why this is happening to me I do not know. Nevertheless I must admit that I really want to get through this. Sincerely I had convinced myself that this bad patch fo time mismanagement had passed but as the end gets closer I see that it does not and I am scared shitless.
The most saddest part is that I have gotten accepted in three different Universities (I only applied for four by the way) and the FAFSA got through....and with this one red mark I get on my transcripts could send all of that straight down to hell...all the all-nighters all the headaches, all the unnecesary subjects taken as requirement for absolutely nothing...well not exactly 'nothing' but complete and utter failure.....
NO more than that....
Complete and utter failure....
I'm tired.
Simply tired.
Good Bye.
 | Currently listening :
Morning View
By Incubus
Release date: 23 October, 2001  | 11:38 PM | |
| | Monday, September 03, 2007 | Old Acquaintances Once again, I should not be writing here (i should be doing my summer homework). Nevertheless I had to point this night out. It was a weird one. To begin with my insomnia is still kicking in. Yet another night without any sleep. I get to work and Bigotes is not there. Unusual. Then The guy I like had the courtesy to reach into my back pocket and get my cell and attempted to dig through it. The most significant part come later this same night. Like I've said before, I've been feeling aggravated. So I contacted the one person that would perk me up to feel completely skeptical and that would make me chuckle telling me things I know already. A pointless conversation that ended no where. At the same time while I was talking to this distant acquaintance, I was talking to Hugo. I began the conversation by complementing his bunny (the picture of the bunny that he had for YIM), this short snippet did my day and to a certain extent lifted the weight of the aggravation I had been feeling off my shoulders
Clara Herrarte (/9/3/2007 9:58:35 PM): i like your bunny Juice (9/3/2007 9:59:15 PM): thanks.. I wish I really had one Juice (9/3/2007 9:59:17 PM): but not now.. Juice (9/3/2007 9:59:21 PM): when I grow up Clara Herrarte (9/3/2007 10:01:01 PM): K Clara Herrarte (9/3/2007 10:01:10 PM): you do realize the irony in that sentence right..... The irony, he has grown up. You the reader do not know him, but I do and he knows what I meant. This made the conversation with this other person the more meaningless. However, my joy was short lived, while I was discussing tattoo ideas with Rene (we're planning on getting our tattoos), I had the bright idea (sarcastically speaking) of mentioning to him my conversation with the acquaintace of the pseudonym Convict. It turned out to be a disastrous idea. Moral of the story: DO NOT contact old acquaintances, even if you just want to use them.  | Currently listening :
Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
By Iron Maiden
Release date: 26 March, 2002  | 11:46 PM | |
| | Wednesday, August 22, 2007 | Dissatisfaction
Current mood: aggravated I know I should not be writing here. Why? Becuase I should be doing my fucken summer homework. I have been putting it off for over a month. I can't help but to procastinate, there is always too much people around me!!! I need a room (which I will have by October at the price of 300 dollars a month)But i need to finish my homework now!!! i do not know what to do. I am in a stage of my life where I am not happy with what I have. My social life is shit! In addition to that I feel anti-social towards the people I know and feel more open towards strangers. I have only talked to some of my freinds a couple of times during the summer. I must admit that when summer began I purposely denied myself the right to come into contact with people from school. Problem: I came to me too easy, which means I really wanted to dissasociate from the people I know already. Who ever said high school was some of the best years was fucken lying. They have been by far the worst ones. I got dumped, rejected, ditched, socially trashed and bashed. All from the beginning of the summer of '06 and this summer was mostly dedicated to working my ass off at my job and may I add that I did not enjoy my earnings as I have hoped. I almost have a year working down at the Ramirez place and I still have not bought all the things I wanted and the Eurotrip can kiss itself on the ass goodbye because it is not happening. I do not feel accomplished or satisfied. Who knows. Everyone left from the room so I should just start my homewrok which consists of reading three chapter from one textbook, two from another and coming up with 27 current events that I should have started back in July 1st. I have no hope. Some please pray for me, cause I do not pray. 7:57 PM | |
| | Wednesday, December 20, 2006 | My new Speech for Aca. Deca
Current mood:  optimistic The Human Animal..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> Many men believe themselves to be gods. All of them are wrong. For although men might believe he's the higher mammal, it is rather curious to point out that men is actually the worst. There are many ways one can address the curious behaviors of the human animal. Sometimes when I see Animal Planet or Discovery and I hear some of those animal documentaries speak of the observation of the animals, I sometimes wish they could just instead observe the behavior of humans as animals. I have many times before just sat down and thought about this and while ruminating. I have concluded that even though the human species has believe themselves to be the supreme mammal, it is in fact the other way around, for although humans developed intelligence and a form of language, it never really developed the actual grasp of ethics. And in it's essence, ethics is the form of the detachment from animal instinct. And so far no one human being has been able to detach itself completely from animal instinct. Sure enough we do not lay in dirt and lick ourselves for sanitary, nevertheless, our animal instinct is far beyond the physical aspect, our animal instincts are actually nicely tucked in our subconscious. Rage, vengeance, spite, hate, is the animal instincts humans have left. Animals feel it as well, when a dog gets mad enough it'll bite. When a man gets mad enough, he'll kill. What I am trying to say is that humans, are essentially still animals and like animals we will always behave. Just because humans developed intelligence does not necessarily mean that it mean it made us supreme. In fact, as far as I am concerned, developing intelligence was a virtuous curse. For although we were able to answer may questions regarding life, we also discovered new was of annihilation. If we are so human why are we still killing each other for mates, land, and even property? If we are so human why are we creating wars, who kill people by the masses for economic purposes? Greed. Megalomania. Hate. Rage. Vengeance. Spite. These are our incentives to attack one another, the reasons why humans are driven to kill each other, just like fear is for wild animals. To destroy the land we so desperately need. As far as I am concerned it would have been easier to simply stay wild. When have you ever seen a tiger destroy its land? Burn it down? Why gain a knowledge we will not use properly? Why use our intelligence to act like god? I say, we should drop the hypocritical act and just admit that we are fundamentally animals and that we act just like them if not worst and that just because we sleep in a bed and not in bushes makes us less wild then they are. We see it everyday, our animal instincts in the surface. Two girls fighting for the same guy. Bush declaring war on Iraq for personal gain (greed). The rage a parent feels when their son or daughter is killed. Men putting on the best cologne to attract the nearest female. They are all there, these animal behaviors. Why would someone get offended for accepting their nature. I'm glad I'm an animal. I love food. I'm spiteful when I have to and yes sometimes I do wear a skirt to impress the opposite sex. 3:33 PM | |
| | Saturday, October 28, 2006 | Sexuality
Current mood: contemplative Alrighty, some time ago (like a month ago....give or take away), I went to a gig got hammered and made out with two girls. What is wrong with that, apart from the fact that it seems rather sluty even though i do not think it is, nothing. But as I conversed this occurance with my dear sister, she told me that i should eitehr swing one way or the other. The reasons that she gave me for this argument, I must admit were very valid and strong (aprat from the fact that it made perfect sense). However, I really do not want to swing one way. I want to sincerely swing both. I love guys and I love girls. However, I would not go out with a girl. Why? Well that is pretty simple, i would not go out with a girl because girls will never fulfill you likr a guy would (and i do not mean the dick!). I would fool around with a girl (no strings attached!) but i would not go out with one. But then again I would never know because i have just fooled around with girls and I've never actaully gone out with one. Neverhteless some thing tells me that i will feel what i described above. I dont know i just want to swing both ways. Aesthetically speaking, girls are more atractive. Guys are just fulfilling I guess..... meh who cares.... 3:10 AM | |
| | Sunday, October 08, 2006 | New speech I had to Write for Academic Decathalon
Current mood:  artistic Yup, I had to write this speech for Academi Decathalon...and like the secretive emo I am....i wrote it about walk-in and outs! >=) Clara Herrarte Aca. Deca. Speech ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" This quote is from This Beautiful Life. A great quote, that proves to be true at least once in everyone's life. It is bitterly comical how that happens. Someone just steps into your life and walks out just as easily. It is even more bitter how many of these walk-ins and outs are not given a second thought of their effect on other people by the one that is walking away. Nevertheless, it still happens. It took me several years after my mother's death and it also took me many mistakes I know regret (in fact I, right at this very instant, am living under a certain mistake), to realize this comical fact about life. I have to admit that I never once recall walking out of someone's life, in fact many times before I have tried to stick by to the point of annoyance. However, it deeply angers me to know that other people simply give up. Now I am the one walking away, and now I understand why many people walk away. So from the bottom of my heart, I give them credit…to a certain extent. I will admit that I might not be able to forgive myself for walking away for the sole reason that I have not completely forgiven those who walked out on me. But one reaches a point when one is tired and simply wants to get away. Get away from those who slowly but firmly kill ones ease of mind, from those things that baffles one so profoundly that one trips over and hurts those one loves the most unintentionally. If I could walk away from myself I would, but that my friends is impossible and by far I am the one person I want to walk away from the most and the farther I am from myself the better. I am my own arch nemesis. I am my own demise and almost everyone that has been part of my life and even those who are not in it because they walked away, are a contribution to my dismay and my secret hidden feeling of bitterness. 10:11 PM | |
| | Tuesday, September 26, 2006 | I wish it was August 9th all over again......
Current mood: contemplative Yup, like you read, I wish it was August 9th, 2006 all over again. Why? well that is because that is the day that I went to see this J-rock show of this Japanese band I love, BLOOD. I went to the show and it was great. I saw some goth bands that did not really tickle my pickle and then The Last Dance came up and they were really good, I wanted to buy their cd but i did not have enough money :(. So on the show, i meet Scott, Jay, Jeneace, and Kim, pretty cool asian people, jeanice was hooking us up with drinks and shit so that was cool. As for Scott and Jay, they were pretty cool and Scott gave me a hug at the end (something i found extremely sweet). As for BLOOD their performance was great event though they were having some technical dificulties. I got to buy the Vengence For Blood album/dvd (35 bucks!!!) My sister picked me up and everything was dandy, i went to sleep and went on with my day. On August 10th Rene brakes up with Anais... 8:25 PM | |
| | Monday, September 18, 2006 | My best essay ever......at least that is what i think
Current mood:  calm Hey, this is an essay I wrote for my 10th grade Honors English class, I've been meaning to put this essay on my blog for some time, but I have alwasy found myself doing other shit. Neverthelesss, here it is. There are some grammar mistakes so I beg the reader's pardon before hand. This book is one of my all time favorite (the book is Alice in Wonderland). This is an essay making a comparison between the story of Alice in Wonderland and real life. To be rather honest I consider this my best essay. I was in a transitional phase at the moment when I wrote it, and I'm in a transitional phase once more, but writing is not wroking all that much any longer. Well I have digressed from the actual point so I'll let you to the esssay...... Relating Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll to Real Life and Its Situations..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> Many people who think of Alice in Wonderland think that it is a mere fantasy tale, yet little do they know that it is not a fantasy tale but an actual metaphorical tale ripe with meaningful real life situations disguised as a story of a girl lost in a Wonderland full of oddities in which she experiences illogical conversations with the characters she meets. In order to realize where these situations are hidden in this story, one must read this novel carefully and attentively. One must also compare one's life with Alice as she journeys through Wonderland. Even though these comparisons are hidden they are not hard to find. Take for example the first situation Alice finds herself in the beginning of the book. "In another moment down went Alice after it [the white rabbit], never once considering how in the world she was going to get out again. The rabbit-hole, went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, suddenly down that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed a very deep well. Either the well was very deep, or she was falling very slowly, for she had time to look about her, and to wonder what was going to happen next." Thus if we begin by breaking down the paragraph, we will be able to identify and analyze these comparisons in this excerpt: "In another moment down went Alice after it [the white rabbit], never once considering how in the world she was going to get out again." This clearly is a "decision making" incident. What would have happened if Alice had not followed the rabbit down the rabbit-hole? For those who have read the story, it is known what happened to Alice for going down the rabbit-hole. For those of you who have not read the story but have seen the movie The Matrix, can get a good idea of what is being discussed here because The Matrix brings up the significance of this excerpt in great detail. In both the movie and the book following the white rabbit down the rabbit-hole and taking the red pill begins a surreal adventure that demonstrates a vivid imagination both form Alice and the movie. Just like Alice took this decision, real people in real life make decisions as well. For instance if John Doe makes a hasty decision in which he tries heroin for the first time, many consequences may surge up. Either John Doe becomes and addict and therefore commits other atrocious act or he is repulsed by the after effects and never tries it again in his life. In real life the decisions we make will lead to crazy and sudden turns that we do not expect, just like the tunnel that Alice was in took that sudden dip "The rabbit-hole, went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, suddenly down that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed a very deep well." Sometimes those crazy and sudden turns will have an eternal effect on one's life, just like it does for Alice when "she found herself falling down what seemed a very deep well." Sadly enough, many people do not stop and think before making decisions much like Alice did not stop and think before following the white rabbit down the rabbit-hole. Nevertheless life also takes slow turns that can either be very painful or very interesting. "Either the well was very deep, or she was falling very slowly, for she had time to look about her, and to wonder what was going to happen next." The benefit of these slow turns when they happen is that people can learn from them and consider how to correct these mistakes. As seen with Alice, some people tend to make mistakes that have long after effects, that when pondered, offers valuable lessons. Thus like Alice had time to look around and wonder what was going to happen next. Not unlike each other some people and Alice still fall under the same mistakes more than once. To move on, let us focus on one of the most famous events in the novel: Alice's drinking from the bottle and eating the cupcake. When Alice finally finishes falling from the tunnel, she comes across a little door that is locked. Looking around, she finds a little glass table with a little golden key and a bottle labeled "Drink Me." Excitedly Alice drinks and becomes small. Once she is small she realizes she forgot the golden key. Finding herself looking around once more, she finds a little cupcake with the words "Eat Me" which makes her big again. These two little incidents mark very important points in the book. They also mark the ups and downs of true life. After making a decision life can either have its ups, just like Alice did when she drank for the bottle and she thought she was going to be able to get through the door but it can also have its downs, such as when Alice realizes that she has forgotten the key on the table. As in Carroll's tale, the downs in life can be caused by the consequences of the ups in life. Alice did have to grow up again in order to obtain the key. No matter how bad things go, things most likely will get better, Alice did get hold of the rabbit's fan which made her small again; or they get worst, she began to drown in her own pool of tears when she cried because she was too big. As Alice goes on (she does not drown!) on her wonderings, she finds herself with the Caterpillar smoking the Hookah and they engage in what seems a rather insignificant and pointless conversation. But is it really? Before we examine this scene, let us revisit it: "The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I–I hardly know, Sir, just at present–at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.' 'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain yourself!' "I ca'n't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see.' 'I don't see' said the Caterpillar. 'I'm afraid I ca'n't put it more clearly' Alice replied… 'for I ca'n't understand myself, to begin with; and being so many sizes in one day is very confusing. 'It isn't.' said the Caterpillar. 'Well perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice 'but when you have to turn into a chrysalis–you will someday, you know– and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel a little queer, won't you?' 'Not a bit' said the Caterpillar. 'Well maybe your feelings may be different.' said Alice… 'You' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are you?' Which brought them back to the beginning of the conversation." As illogical as this conversation may seem, it is very logical indeed. For it embodies one of the most crucial doubts in a person's life: One's Identity. Alice finds herself confused when she is asked who she is by the Caterpillar. Unsurprisingly enough, many people do as well. And even though it may not apply to only teenagers, it generally does. For teenagers tend to find themselves asking questions like "Who am I?" (not literally! Of course you know what your name is) or "What is my purpose in life?" Many people may believe that these two questions do not relate but they do. For in some cases knowing what the personal purpose in life may be may also shape the identity and therefore the decisions in the future. In addition to these physical changes, emotional and mental changes people undergo can sometimes confuse the person and consequently their view of their own identity. When the Caterpillar does not relate to Alice's confusion, Alice takes a defensive position, where she states: 'Well maybe your feelings may be different.' And in fact they are. For in caterpillars' nature, it is natural to have the changes from chrysalis to a butterfly. Nevertheless, while physical change is natural for humans, adaptation to change is difficult to most. Even though it does not work this way for everybody (or every situation), it is for those who have changes in strong emotions that cause deception, love-loss, and other related emotions, emotions associated with adaptation. To move on to another part of life, the conversation that Alice engages in with the Cheshire Cat is also significant, specifically this following passage: "'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 'That depends on a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat . 'I don't much care where–' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. '–so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation. 'Oh you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk enough.' Many people wonder how their lives are going to end up. Some people take action and make themselves a path where they walk and reach the goal. Other people just sit and wonder. They allow their lives to come to a complete stop. Letting time go by and not accomplishing anything or finding a reason to live for. They have no hopes or goals. Alice asks the cat if she may get directions as to where she ought to go. Similarly in real life depends on where you want to get to. Asking a question such as "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" is as good as it "depends on a good deal on where you want to get to." No one can answer such a question but oneself because no one can live another's life. No one can dream for someone else, or choose. Only one can build that path and walk on it. Life is made of decisions and only one can make them those decisions. Once again, people really do not know where they want to go. Nevertheless, people who do not know where they want to go to, take a walk to see what the path offers. But it not always turns out right and this is where most of the mistakes in life happen. Other people just do not take a walk, which is one of the reasons why depression and suicide happen. It is true that life sometimes seems bad, but should it not go on? © © © © © © To change our focus, there is an excerpt that may seem funny to some readers, when Alice plays croquet with the Queen of Hearts, the Duchess tell Alice: "'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that is–"Be what you would seem to be–" or, if you'd like to put it more simply– "Never imagine yourself not to be not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them otherwise." This excerpt may seem funny because she makes something so simple very complicated, but humorously enough people in real life do exactly the same thing. Many people make life complicated when sometimes it is not. They make life from the simple: "Be what you would seem to be–" to the complicated: "Never imagine yourself not to be not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them otherwise." When it should be the other way around. Some people tend to drown in a glass of water when they find themselves under pressure, very much like Alice did in her own pool of tears. But is life really that complicated for some? This may not apply to all people for many different reasons such as economic status (even though it has been proven that the poorest people are the happiest) or family intervention, etc. But nevertheless life is as complicated as one makes it seem. The Duchess could have always said her moral the other way around. ª ª ª ª ª ª Problems have an end and so does Alice's dream. As the story reaches its conclusion and Alice wakes up from her dream, she exclaims: " 'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice. And she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and, when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said 'It was a curious dream, dear, certainly; but now run in to your tea: it's getting late.' So Alice got up and off, thinking while she ran, as well as she might. What a wonderful dream it had been." All in all life goes on, just like Alice went to take her tea and so do people, for life can also be compared to a baby's first steps. After falling the baby gets up and keeps trying until it finally learn how to walk. After hard times people get up and go on. Unfortunately not everyone has the will to do so and some people never learn to walk. Hope prevails and that is why life goes on, the hope of something better and prosperous. Alice's sister believed this and continued Alice's dream, not allowing it to perish. "…She, pictured herself how the same little sister of hers would, I the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, thorough all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood; and how she would gather about her other children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago; and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days."
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Thursday, August 10, 2006 Shadows Fall Concert on the 29th of July!!!!!!!!!!!
Current mood:  cheerful Well I was supposed to post blogs about the shows I go to ans shit, and I haven't cause I've been lazy..... Well in July the 29th I went to see Shadows Fall! The show started at 7PM but i got dropped off at 5PM which meant that I was suppose to wait in line all by me onesy which I did and which I've done before. I was suppose to get there with Rene, but i don't know what the fuck happened, so i was like "meh". So I'm making line to buy my ticket at the fromt door. When I realized that the two girls in from of me were speaking spanish, with a spaniard accent so I was like "oh shit" these girls are from Spain. So I crossed some words with them about Spain and how tabacco is only ridiculously expensive in the U.S. and how you can smoke and drink by the age of 14 in Europe, then we smoked some cigarettes and then they opened the doors and we took our own ways. Oh yeah, before the conversation with the spaniard chicks happend, Brian (the singer of Shadows Falls) was walking down the street like nothing so i got my arm signed by him. In the beginning when STILL REMAINS began i was just softly head banging to the music, and thier show was cool and shit, the drummer was pretty cute, he looked thirteen but I'm sure he is not. But he looked cute anyway. Then it was this other band, i cant remember the name, Im fucken sorry i too so long to wrte this fucken blog, i actually forgot the name of the fucken band. well the point is that the band after Still Remains was good too. The show didnt get all that good until Throwdown went on the stage, the singer and the drummer are fucken BUFF, crazy ass shit, for real, the singer looks psycho, but it was ll good, cause they got the crowd ready for the mood, and on their last song i got in themood to get in the Pit so i did, i got a bit fucked up, mostly my back and arms, no injuries to tha face, not that i care so much but if i get home with a bruise in the face i'll be in for it with my bro's. But it was all good. After Throwdown was over, i squezed myself back to the front, I was looking at how they were getting the stage ready for Poison the Well when for some unknow reason I turn to myleft and I see Rene, and I told him to get to the front with me but he was like "nah" so I had to go to him, whcih kinda sucked for me cause I was surrounde by tall fucken people and to my dismay I'm fucken short. So then Poison the Well starts playing, and to my good luck their first song was "Botchla" which I love "CAUSE I TOLD HER" well yeah so I tell Rene to lift me up, but I meant to lift me up on his shoulders so I could see, I don't think I made myself all that clear cause he lifted me up and I ended up body surfing which was not all that bad cause I had fun while I was being passed around, that shit was fun! Well, then they throw me off to the securities and I have to once again squeze my way back to where I was, to be rahter honest it was not all that hard, cause I'm small. Well I saw Posion the Well quite ok after the body surfing incident. I was headbanging hard to Poison the Well, I know I do not know their songs by heart or anything but I really enjoy their music so all I did was headbang. If I like it enough I headbang to it. When the moment for Shadows Fall came to play, it got fucken claustrophobic.... like always, crazy as shit.....little people like me have elbow people on the stomach in order to survive, for real! Well the point is that I was able to sing and headbang, and I was headbanging hardass, there is nothing I like more about a concert that the headbanging to the fucken bands u like the most! I LOVE TO HEADBANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After the show we just kicked it out side the Avalon, waiting for our rides, Brain was walking to his bus and Rene asked him to sign his ticket and i did the same, Brian also signed Rene's show, which I found fucken funny, he was talking to this one guy he had just met, usually i'll just ask a question or two and laugh at the jokes other than that I'll just keep my mouth shut. Then this one guy on crack started talking to Rene about 666 and someshit and we were just cracking up and shit. And then when the crew of Shadows Fall stated packing up their shit on the bus the guy on crack started saying that there was a vampire in there and we were jsut cracking up some more, that's when I left. Rene said that after that they just kept kiking it there cause their ride too a long as time and that they helped Shadows Fall crew to pack up and kept on cracking up at the guy on crack..... and that was it for the Shadows Fall show. From now on I have to kiss major ass at home so i can go to the GINGATOUR!!!!!!!!! MEGADETH, LAMB OF GOD, OPETH AND ARCH ENEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5:23 PM |
curious 
bitchy 
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